What does your body say when you are trying to convince others that you are worthy of their respect, interested in what they are saying and confident enough to get the job done. One study at UCLA indicated that up to 93 percent of communication effectiveness is determined by nonverbal cues.  Which means you need “body control” to be a top performing influencer of others.

To convince others to follow you, be aware of the following:

•Posture- When presenting your solution to a customer or leading your team of associates, sit up tall or stand up straight.  Your shoulders should be up and outward. This shows confidence in your message.

•Movements- Move smoothly and deliberately. Don’t fidget, tap your feet, clear your throat or rub your nose.  This shows nervousness and uncertainty.

•Eyes-Maintain good eye contact. Looking away tells others that you may be hiding something.

•Head position- Keep your head straight when you want to show others you believe in what you are saying. To lighten the mood or show you are listening, you can tilt your head slightly to either side.

•Arms-Keep your arms by your side rather than folding. Folding is a defensive position that restricts others from sharing their true feelings. If want the truth, your body should invite it.

So this week, let your body do the talking.  And while it speaks the language of a confident leader, you will find more people believing that you are the person they need to follow.

“Our lives are made in these small hours, these little wonders, these twists and turns of fate. Time falls away, but these small hours still remain.”
Rob Thomas-musician

What challenges are driving you nuts at work? What customers have you lost? What things do you feel you have absolutely no control over? Good news is…it doesn’t really matter. While your career is an important part of your existence, it is only an “activity” sandwiched in-between the most important part of your life…which are the “small hours” spent with the most important people in your life…when you are NOT working.

This realization struck me again after arriving home from a spring break with my family. As I sat in my office viewing pictures from the trip, assembling my cheesy vacation video dubbed with sappy music, I once again realized WHY we all work so hard. It’s for them. And because they are so important, we owe it to them to do everything we can to be the best at what we do. Will we ever be the best? I don’t know. But remembering that everything starts and ends with the ones we love will continue to provide the fuel we need to never stop improving, learning, and caring for everybody we touch throughout the day.

So this week, take 15 minutes in your office and pull out that old photo album, or spend some time with the digital pictures on your computer. You will feel emotions you haven’t felt in a while. But by remembering “these small hours,” you will be reminded of why your life is so special.

To view the video of some of Brian Sullivan’s “Small Hours,” watch this YouTube Video at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVoR3YyeTAg Brian is the President of PRECISE Selling, a sales and leadership development company. To learn more, go to www.preciseselling.com.

“The one advantage of playing with fire…is that no one ever gets singed. It is the people who don’t know how to play with it who get burned up.”
-Oscar Wilde

Did you watch the Super Bowl this year? Well of course you did! Well, at least you had it on the tube, right? In fact, you might have been having too much fun to watch the actual game but when those commercials came on you immediately became glued to the set, right? And why is it that viewers are more interested in those commercials than on any normal viewing day? It’s because most of them get a reaction out of you and usually that reaction is a laugh or a smile. In fact, 86% of commercials played during the Super Bowl contain some sort of humor or fun message. Why, you ask? It’s because FUN WORKS! The sponsors realize that if they can get those muscles around your face to move in a positive way, there is a chance you will make a move for your wallet in a way that’s positive for them.

So what about you? Do you have a Super Bowl commercial mentality? If not, it’s time to step it up. While you might not control the advertising budget at your company, you DO control the amount of fun and laughter you bring to your customers and prospects. So this week, think of something creative you can to do light up your sales territory. Become a commercial on every call. And while your competition is busy being “professional” (aka boring), your risky creativity will take the customer mentally away from work, and off to a happy place that makes them want to spend their money with you. And don’t be surprised if your competition is burned up by your results.

So this week, it’s time to shed any doubt you may have that you are worthy of the success you have or will create. There are only two things that will make you worthy of being among the best…your knowledge and skill. And you have total control over how much of that you have. Might you have to “fake it till you make it?” Sure! But make sure whenever your opportunity to shine presents itself, your posture, body language and attitude tells those top performers that you are ready for the big time. And when you get that sick pit in your stomach that tells you that this is your chance, remember…THIS IS YOUR MOMENT!

Let’s not overcomplicate this. In sales, there are only two ways to get better results. The first is to make more sales calls. The second is to perform better on each call.  So how many prospecting calls do you make each week? And as an FYI, “It depends,” is NOT an acceptable answer. Because those that say, “It depends,” or “I am not really sure,” have lost control over their sales territory and as a result, are at the mercy of whatever voicemail and email are telling them to do. The top performer, on the other hand, sets a call objective number and let’s that number drive the workweek. If he or she wants to increase their sales by 15% or more, they realize it means they may have to make 15 more calls. They then let that number haunt them. They don’t start the weekend until they made the last call.

Another way 15% more effort can create 15% greater performance is by investing in improving your sales, communication and leadership skills. Buy a sales book, attend a seminar, seek out top performers in your company and grill them! By increasing your knowledge and skill by 15% or more, you will become 15% more valuable to your customers, your company and your future.

“Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow-ripening fruit.”
– Aristotle

I recently met somebody who proudly claimed to have over 100 friends on Facebook and to be connected to over 1000 people on LinkedIn.  I then made the mistake of asking how many follow him on Twitter, and he proudly stuck his chest out and said. “Well over a hundred!”  I made the mistake of “friending” this person on Facebook and, after getting countless updates on topics ranging from his high score on a video game to asking me if I wanted to buy a Virtual Unicorn (what?!!!) from him in some fantasy world, I said, “ENOUGH!”  And just like that, he was gone from my daily life. I will no longer know things like, “if he was a color, what color would he be.” Halleluiah!

So what about you? Are you spending too many minutes each day trying to grow your virtual network of friends, family and business associates and too little time strengthening relationships with “real” friends, family and peers?  Call me wacky, but there is only so much of you to go around and for every minute you spend accepting a LinkedIn invitation or posting on Facebook, you have one less minute to spend with your spouse, a friend, a child or a customer. It’s like growing a garden. You can plant as many seeds as you want but they won’t grow unless you water them. And if all you do is plant and not water, you are just a lame gardener.

While I am not saying you should avoid social networking in its entirety, I am recommending that you don’t waste another minute creating online relationships that you can neither support nor find value in.  So this week, trim the fat! Because in the end, you will not be judged by the number of friends you have on Facebook, but instead by the depth of your closest relationships. Because a few deep relationships are better than a thousand shallow ones

There are seven Army values that determine a great soldier. They are:
•    Loyalty
o    Bear true faith and allegiance
•    Duty
o    Fulfill your obligations
•    Respect
o    How we consider others reflects upon each of us, both personally and as a professional organization.
•    Selfless Service
o    Selfless service leads to organizational teamwork and encompasses discipline, self-control and faith in the system.
•    Honor
o    Live up to the organization’s values.
•    Integrity
o    Be willing to do what is right even when no one is looking.
•    Personal Courage
o    Our ability to face fear, danger, or adversity, with both physical and moral courage

Today, on Veterans Day, we can show our greatest appreciation to our men and women in uniform by embracing and living the values that make our soldiers a model of what makes our country, our companies and ourselves great. Soldiers, thank you for the lessons you teach us, the selflessness of your service and the sacrifice you give.  We will forever be grateful.

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”
Mahatma Gandhi

Two weeks ago while on family vacation in Colorado, a well-known philanthropic business executive named Tom Murphy (age 45) was tragically killed when a boulder fell from a mountain and struck his car. Two days after hearing the news, I found his obituary in the paper. As I read it, I was moved by the words used to describe Tom’s life. In fact, he did so much good for so many people they needed to use Kansas City’s biggest arena, the Sprint Center, to host his funeral. Tom left an enormous footprint.

As I set down the paper I wondered what my own obituary would say. And though it might seem a bit morbid, I thought it would be a good “life” exercise to write out my own. At points throughout I wondered if what I was writing was what I HOPED people would say or what they would actually say. This 15-minute exercise helped me to quickly think about what is most important. And I realized if there was any doubt about what would be written, NOW is the time to do the things necessary to take that doubt away. Because I have control over the content written after I graduate to the next life.

So this week, as uncomfortable as it may seem, think about what your obituary would say. Then get to your computer and write it out. This moving exercise will create urgency in you to love more, experience more and to share more of yourself with everyone you meet…a formula Tom Murphy figured out long ago.

You will make more friends in a week by getting yourself interested in other people than you can in a year by trying to get other people interested in you.
-Arnold Bennett

Think of somebody new who you recently met who you now call friend. Why did you like them when you met them? How did they communicate with you? Chances are, you connected with them because they showed more interest in YOU than themselves. Before they started telling you all about their job, family and favorite hobby, they first asked you about yours. And they REALLY cared about the answer. They didn’t ask the question then look down to their iPhone to see who just Twittered or texted.

So the formula is simple. If you want more friends, customers and more rewarding relationships, begin every conversation this week with a question. Replace the “I think…” with “What do you think?” When selling, remove the “My product will make your life easier by…” and replace it with, “How do you think that feature will help you?” (even if you know the answer) By replacing your statements with questions, you will learn, solve, sell, lead and connect with more people than ever. And those relationships you create will become your most valued and precious asset.